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Irish Ukrainians, NOT RUSSIANS

4 March 2014

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For some reason, The Empty Shirt woke up this morning feeling oddly like an Irish Ukrainian. And certainly not like a stinking Commie Russian. The Shirt experienced a distinct urge to get rid of all the vodka and beetroot in the vicinity but overcame this insanity quickly. We don’t like to read into things too […]

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VIDEO – The Empty Shirt’s preview of Enda Kenny’s bailout speech

15 December 2013

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  For all the latest news, follow The Empty Shirt on Facebook.

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Pilgrims complete religious devotion in “12 pubs” – one for each disciple

9 December 2013

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Thousands of pilgrims across the world have been pledging their devotion to Christ ahead of the Christmas season, in a devotion colloquially referred to as “12 Pubs”. Debate remains over the origins of the devotion, which sees Christians undertake a gruelling display of digestive agility while imbibing large amounts of water which has been turned […]

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There’s something wrong with the meat again, etc, etc

20 November 2013

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  Journalists everywhere dusted off their “meat problems” story templates today, after news broke that, once again, someone is taking the piss regarding Irish meat. The Irish Farmers Association (you know, the ones with the sexy calendars) DNA-tested meat sold in Irish supermarkets and found that about half of meat sold in this country did […]

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Meteorologist Evelyn Cusack spits on National Past-time

17 November 2013

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So-called “meteorologist”, RTE’s Evelyn Cusack, stunned viewers this week when she spouted pseudo-scientific clap-trap which flies in the face of Irish traditions. Cusack, who holds a degree in Mathematics and a Masters in Physics (wishy-washy disciplines at best) was delivering the weather forecast on Friday night when she made the outlandish claim that predicting the […]

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Ryanair reveals controversial new website plans

30 October 2013

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Ryanair, Ireland’s leading budget airline, has always been seen as a reliable provider of an incredibly complex website and booking procedure, using top gaming developers to create exciting “levels” for users to get through before they get to the eventual payout of being able to book a flight. All that appears to be on the […]

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Berlusconi given extra-long time out for being extra bold

19 October 2013

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Former Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi, was given a two-year timeout in Italy today for being, as a judge described it, “very very bold”. The toddler, who was not present for the judgement because it clashed with nap time, was accused of not playing nicely with the other children, stealing their toys and playing with […]

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Pope Francis forced to leave biker gang

17 October 2013

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The Vatican announced the sale of the Pope’s Harley Davidson motorbike and biker jacket today, in what spectators are calling the final nail in the coffin of the Pope’s dreams to remain in his motorcycle gang, Heaven’s Angels. Pope Francis has been under pressure to leave the gang for some time now, with the Vatican […]

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Vatican shows off fruits of faith-based education, misspelling “Jesus” in commemorative coins

11 October 2013

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The Vatican hit the headlines today after recalling commemorative coins celebrating Pope Francis’ first year as Pope. The coins, which bear an inscription of the bible passage which inspired the Pope to enter the clergy, spell “Jesus” as “Lesus”. When the error was pointed out, the Vatican insisted that it was intentional but relented and […]

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Taoiseach Enda Kenny reveals fear of public speaking

5 October 2013

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There was shock in the Dáil last night as Ireland’s Taoiseach, Enda Kenny, revealed that he has been struggling with a crippling fear of public speaking for the last 2 years. In an unexpected move, Mr.Kenny gave an interview to RTE, saying “enough is enough”. The Taoiseach claimed that he had waited until the Seanad […]

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