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Mrs Claus files for divorce, claims husband is “too interested in children”

14 December 2013

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In an Empty Shirt exclusive, today we sat down for a brief interview with Finnish socialite, Mrs. Claus, just hours after the world woke to the shocking news that she has filed for divorce from her husband of many years, Mr. Claus, claiming “Saint Nick” is not so saintly after all. Thank you for joining […]

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Punishments for illegally downloading music to be dependent on musical taste

24 November 2013

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Taoiseach Enda  Kenny stepped out of the shadows of his struggles with public speaking today to announce the introduction of new anti-piracy measures, combatting the illegal downloading of music on the internet. The measures, enacted in the wake of hordes of musicians and record company executives being slightly less well off than they previously were, […]

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The Empty Shirt’s Deal of The Week – “To Train Up a Child” (Book)

22 November 2013

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The Empty Shirt is very excited to be able to bring you such a topical Deal of The Week, as just last month, a couple were jailed for 30 years after murdering their child by following the advice given in this book. Do you watch the news and see parents making headlines for abusing their […]

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Andy Kaufman trolls everyone from beyond the grave

14 November 2013

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Andy Kaufman, legendary comedian and deceased person since 1984, remains committed to carrying out his absurdist comedic works despite the slight handicap of being dead. Kaufman’s legend is such that he has inspired (or planned) the most bizarre string of events almost 30 years after his death, which is fitting considering he was pretty bizarre […]

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7 Life Lessons Learned From Erotic Fiction

12 November 2013

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Some people turn to self-help books for guidance, or even mental health professionals. We think that’s silly. Here are some important life lessons and tips The Empty Shirt has learned from erotic fiction. It’s only porn if there are pictures. Guys – if that special lady shrinks away from you and tells you to leave […]

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Creationists to picket sci-fi film “Gravity”

3 November 2013

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Young Earth Creationists, a group dedicated to the belief that God created the world and every living thing in 6 days, have pledged to stage pickets outside screenings of sci-fi flick, “Gravity”, starring Sandra Bullock and George Clooney when it opens in Ireland. The big-budget Alfonso Cuarón creation, billed as “the film of the year” […]

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Interview with a Vampire. No wait, a Feminist.

31 October 2013

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Continuing our series of interviews with strong women, like Samantha Lewthwaite (terrorist and argan oil enthusiast), TD Fidelma Healy-Eames (star of “Saving with the Senator”) and Love/Hate cat actor Cleo, this week we speak to a feminist on Halloween. Thanks for joining us. We understand you want your identity to remain a secret. “Yes. Thank […]

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Irish actor Jamie Dornan cast as Christian Grey in “50 Shades of Blood”

24 October 2013

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The Irish entertainment world was celebrating this morning as one of their own, model and actor Jamie Dornan, was cast as Christian Grey in the upcoming adaptation of 50 Shades of Grey, provisionally titled 50 Shades of Blood. Reports say that the film’s casting director was so impressed with Dornan’s performance in BBC’s serial killer […]

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Love/Hate cat actor reveals she suffers from PTSD

14 October 2013

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In what many have dubbed an “inevitable” move, Ireland’s top cat actor came forward today and confirmed that she is a sufferer of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Eyebrows had been raised at her controversial Late Late Show appearance with Ryan Tubridy on Friday night, when she fled the interview in obvious distress. Cleo remains unrepentant. […]

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An Post takes on new staff to cope with Sinéad O’Connor letter-writing spree

7 October 2013

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There was positive news on the jobs front today, as Ireland’s largest distributor of letters and parcels, An Post, reported the creation of several hundred new jobs in their Dublin-based sorting office. This comes on the back of Irish singer, Sinéad O’Connor, launching a personal vendetta to get Ireland’s economy back on track and to […]

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