Taoiseach Enda Kenny reveals fear of public speaking

Written by Sarah Garvey

Topics: Europe News, Irish News

Associated Press

There was shock in the Dáil last night as Ireland’s Taoiseach, Enda Kenny, revealed that he has been struggling with a crippling fear of public speaking for the last 2 years. In an unexpected move, Mr.Kenny gave an interview to RTE, saying “enough is enough”.

The Taoiseach claimed that he had waited until the Seanad Referendum had taken place to divulge his secret, which political commentators say has greatly affected his capabilities as a political leader.

In a three-hour interview in which the Taoiseach compares himself to Martin Luther King, Colin Firth in “The King’s Speech” and Robbie Williams, he describes how his confidence has suffered ever since his run-in with aggro-journalist, Vincent Browne, in 2011.

“He may be older than me but there’s a fire within him which terrifies me” Kenny said. “You look into his eyes and see nothing but your own personal failings. He’s much scarier than the Pope”.

The Taoiseach describes how he had almost gotten back on track when he suffered another setback, The New York Times confusing him with a woman named “Edna”.

“I’m a man” weeps Kenny. “I’m a man”.

The Empty Shirt was given early access to the marathon interview, which will be edited down and shown tonight in a special segment of RTE news, entitled “The Taoiseach’s Troubles”.

In the footage, the Taoiseach speaks from behind a small black curtain, claiming “I don’t feel so naked this way”. In the rare glimpses we see of his face, a sheen of sweat sullies his perfectly made-up brow.

This news will go some way to appeasing those who have expressed concern over the Taoiseach’s recent shying away from the spotlight.

“I knew it had to be something like this” said one member of the public. “What other explanation could there be for missing all those important debates?”

The Taoiseach has proposed that he give any future speeches and interviews through a proxy for the time being, most likely tapping journalist John Waters for the role.

“John volunteered before I even asked him” said Kenny. “Actually, he was in my house for some reason. He’s always ready to be a mouthpiece”.

“The Taoiseach’s Troubles” can be seen tonight on RTE at 6 and again at 9. And in “Reeling in the Years” when they make that one.

3 Comments For This Post I'd Love to Hear Yours!

  1. Blue Shirt/Brown Trousers says:

    Some of our greatest leaders have had minor faults. Herr Kenny should not be condemned for his minor affliction.

    Mr Cowen sometimes had a shandy in the afternoons, Mr Ahern had a tenuous relationship with the truth, Mr Haughey was fond of the occasional cheque.

    Herr Enda just wants to be loved, witness his glowing countenance when his tummy is being tickled by that nice German lady. With Angela he doesn’t have to speak, his bucolic smile lights up her day unlike those Spanish and Greek boys who try to tell her what to do.

    Herr Enda understands the Irish people so well that speech is no longer necessary, he has tapped into us so well that he can communicate without the need for speech. The Holy Spirit has given him the gift of understanding and empathy.

    We should pray that we too will be visited by the Spirit and be able to communicate non-verbally with our Saviour.

    While Enda is Taoiseach we should pray!

  2. Blue Shirt/Brown Trousers says:

    The good old days before the phobia ………

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